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Addictions...who would have thought If someone would have asked me last January do you know a lot about addictions I would have said no. Now, it is different. Months later I know all about x of them. The first being alcoholism and the second being sex and the third being the addiction to help. I had heard about alcoholism, single male looking 4 a lady looking for girl who can hang out tonight I had been around people who drink... but never like what I witnessed with you. I have never seen someone so drunk the can barely stand or light their owndont like couples seeking teens looking for ltr cigarette, find new friends in Greenfield park New York who can go through so many beers in such a short amount of time and not have it phase them at all until the last few cans of a case of beer, I never had someone drunk me at odd times in the middle of the night. Oh there was so much!!! It scared me... that is for sure. Sex as an addiction... I have heard of this also but I never seen it until I met you. I have never craved it as much as I did when we were together. I wanted it more and more with you. However you had turned sex into a weapon against me. After the first few times you treated me wonderful you started using me and treated me like a whore... unfortunately despite that I still wanted you over and over again.. letting you do whatever to me so we could fuck. Finally then after everything really fell apart I started having to see a therapist because of my issues with you... and she said I had a addiction to you not just the sex but and addiction to wanting to help. I thought she is the xxx needing help. BUT through these months of sessions I found out that I wanted to help you and the thing is with alcoholics... I can't help who doesn't want to be helped. I can't fix something I know is broken... BUT I can fix me. I can fix my addiction to you and sex I can overcome my addiction to wanting to help you and I can make it through this. I will never again travel down that road because I found out what I want in life and what I don't want in life. I don't want to give up my baby and I don't want to be in a abusive (mentally) alcoholic relationship. I know it has been over between us now but I need to write this where you can see it. I needed you to know I am not a "stupid, weak whore" I am not "crazy" I am sane and for once in all those months I stopped believing your lies and mind games and not ever again will I let someone control me like that. EVER, Thank you for showing me what I don't want in a relationship. BUT also Thank you for the precious gift you walked away from, our unborn . She will be amazing and it is sad that you wanted to toss her away just like you did to me but that will never happen. I will be the xxx to show her love, caring and compassion. I will show her that she is wanted. goodbye!

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